I was wondering what it would be that would make me cry. It usually doesn’t take much, but as we packed up the items from our condo, nothing seemed to make me overly sad. I was beginning to think that maybe I wasn’t going to. Maybe I’d matured, become emotionally stronger over the years.
I decided to throw away an old piece of luggage and as I walked away from it, I looked back and completely lost it. That piece of luggage sitting in the garbage triggered the rest of my emotions and quickly I became an emotional mess.
The adventures we’d had together! The things we’d seen!
Buying your first home is a big step. Who knew that selling your first home feels just as big?
It can be scary and sad. If you let it be. For me, it’s important to frame moments properly. Take stock of the good and bad. Consider the context. How have the past six years shaped up?
Six years ago we moved back to Montreal from Calgary and embarked on a new adventure. Living downtown, being around family, and restarting the little theatre group I’d left behind when I left the province. That last one ended up becoming a much bigger part of my life than either of us expected and its something I’ll have to strike a better balance with in the future.
Life in our downtown condo has been nothing like our quiet life in Calgary. It’s been busy, energetic and …busy. Did I say busy? I also want to say chaotic. The two words sometimes feel interchangeable. Theatre has kept me busy, not just in terms of my time but in terms of my finances and in terms of my social life. I’ve made some amazing friends these past few years but I’ve also missed the quiet life the two of us had in Calgary. Our schedules and commitments were more balanced between us whereas here, it’s been a challenge.
So now, as the papers get signed and the movers take away our furniture, I can be sad for a lot of things, sure. I can be sad that this chapter is over. And It’s been a great chapter. A lot of good. A lot of bad also. A lot of growth.
In the end, we aren’t moving because we are bored of how life is.
We are moving because we are ready.
We are ready to take the best of what we’ve learned to love so far in life and in our relationship and adventure forward into what we believe will make us happy as we start the next chapter together.
We want to take the best of chapter one (closeness, comfort, quiet), mix it with the best of chapter two (family, friends, adventure) and add some new elements while continuing to improve ourselves personally. I keep learning a lot about myself and my shortcomings and I’m determined to not settle into them as I get older.
So, yeah, I could be sad and I will be sad but I will look forward to what I believe is the path I’m on ; take the lessons, take the best, know more about what you love and what you don’t – and then build on that foundation to make what’s next even better than anything that’s come before.
I am lucky. Incredibly lucky. To have someone beside me who feels the same way. Who grows with me and makes my story rich with laughter, love and memories that make me smile when I’m alone. Who challenges me to not settle with myself or my shortcomings and who believes in my ability to become better with each passing day.
Goodbye to the view – hello to the new! Here we go😉
PS. I went back to grab the red stuicase. I figured it had been my companion on so many trips it deserved one final transatlantic cruise type travel adventure!